Hate. Hate. Hate.

It's hard. It's really hard to give up and forget the person you love so much. Memories haunt me. Everything and anything makes me think of you and I hate it. No matter what I'm always thinking of you, but I'm nothing more than a friend. Never will I be anything more.But this is what I get, right? It's what I deserve. I'm fine, but that's a lie. I'm not fine. I'm losing sleep, I can't eat as well as I used to and I can't think. What am I supposed to do!? What am I supposed to do to forget you? Everything I love reminds me of  you and I start to feel pain in my heart. I'm mad at myself, I decided to never love again. I hate it. I hate it so god damn much. I don't care if I'm alone forever, from the very beginning I knew I would be alone forever. I'm not the type to seem like to be interested in a relationship. I'll get over it, but right now I just want to die. I rather die than feel this type of pain. I don't know anymore. I give up. On everything. But that's actually a lie. How can I give up on someone I love so much? It's impossible. No matter what, I can't.