Saturday, December 10, 2011
...
Today was supposed to be our 6th month anniversary... haha, I'm stupid for still thinking about this stuff. I feel like crying. I always do. Half a year was something that was going to be important to me, but we only seemed to have lasted 5 months and a day... yes, tomorrow is going to be a month since my heart broke. The day where my world just crumbled to nothing, the day that always seems to make me cry just thinking about it. I'm so stupid. Why can't I just stop loving you? Why does my heart and mind act differently? I bet you never even thought that today was going to be a special day. I bet you don't even remember stuff like this. I'm just an idiot for continuing to think of things like this. Why did I have to fall in love? I never want to fall in love again because it hurts too much when the other party leaves you. I'm really an idiot for believing you'd be with me forever. I really am stupid.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
What to do.
I don't know. I feel so stupid for continuing to act the way I want. I've been telling myself to just move on, but every time she does something that makes it harder to not think of her. I miss those times when you would text me until I went to sleep. I'd go lay in bed but I wouldn't fall asleep until hours later, now we only text when I'm at school or something. Why can't I just accept that fact we aren't together, as a couple. You keep leading me on, making me think you want to get back together, but in the end I just keep hurting myself. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't regret accepting you confession, but sometimes I wonder what would I have become if I just rejected you... Why am I so stupid, why can't I just forget about you and the feelings I have? I don't like this pain. What I regret is the fact I couldn't make you happy. No matter what I did, I always made you cry. When we first started dating you told me that I made you really happy and that you never felt depressed. Every time I remember you telling me that, I regret ever trying to gain my own happiness. I forgot that I only wanted you happy. Why did I have to fall in love with you this much? It was never my intention to love you as much as I do.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
I just can't...
My heart hurts so much. You don't understand... I've never cry more than a day, but this is the 2nd day already. I really believed we would be together until the end. I thought that we'd actually have a future together. What we had wasn't perfect, but it's what I was looking for. Sure we has our fights, but our love hasn't changed at all. At least my side wasn't. No matter how much I try to accept that we aren't together anymore there is always one little thing that makes me want to just burst in tears. I don't know what to do. I want to believe we'll be together again, but a side of me believes you won't take me back. My heart is in so much pain, pain I never felt before... I'm an idiot for falling in love with you this much.
Monday, August 15, 2011
You know, It's been a while.
Heeey! Well right now I'm slightly bored so I'm going to rank the CURRENT Morning Musume members according to my favorites!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~ Here we go!!!
1. Niigaki Risa. Hands down.
How can you say no to this girl?! She's hands down the strongest vocals, when not even trying I can tell if it's her voice or not. Her dancing is hands down beautiful and smooth. Personality is too amazing to even say no to, She's going to be the BEST leader Morning Musume ever had. Ever since she joined she hasn't changed. She matured and grew, but she still is the same. Nothing or anyone beats how wonderful Gaki-san is ♥ Not to mention, Her smile is just drool worthy!
2. Suzuki Kanon
Zukki! Yes, I choose the youngest current musume member! Suzuki Kanon! When I first saw Kyuukie auditions I liked her a lot then I started paying more and more attention to her and her character is just so funny there is like no way I can't love her. I'm also breath taken by her smile.
3. Michishige Sayumi
Everyone may dislike her but I actually for one love this girl. She isn't the best singer or dancer, but she always gives 200%. Her love for Morning Musume also wins my heart. Even though she always does the whole "I'm the cutest" on TV I learned from her blog and other stuff that she really is a good girl who lacks confidence. But regardless, I love Sayumin~ I can't wait for GakiShige leadership.
4. Tanaka Reina
Even though she is a line whore I still like Reina. I mean I hate that she's always lead, but I can't help but like her. After watching Bijou Gaku, HelloPro time, DVD magz, Alo halo, and etc. I can't help but like her, y'know? She does all these things that make me go "awwwwW!~"
5. Ikuta Erina
I admit, when she was first added I really didn't like her much. I guess cause I knew she was a AKB fan. During the audition I thought her voice was really bad, but she proved me wrong. After training really hard she climbed up to a high spot in my ranks. She gives her BEST and even more in her dancing and singing. She isn't the best at it but it shows how hard she is willing to work for her fans and that is something I really like. I can't help but also love her KY chara~ I'm going to be cheering on for Eripon ♥
6. Fukumura Mizuki
Fuku-hime! At first I didn't care about her much but then after I started paying attention to her I fell into her trance. It's expected from an egg, her singing is outstanding and her dancing is just smooth and beautiful. She has this shy type character and I find it really adorable. I love the PONPON combi, they're so cute~ and I hope to hear more of Fuku-hime cause out of ALL the 9th gen Fuku-chan has the best vocals. I say the truth, coming from a Zukki fan~ ♥ Fuku-hime has the most potential and deserves to be a lead.
7. Sayashi Riho
Yasshi. She was my most favorite 9th gen during the auditions. I really wanted her in so bad, I'm glad she is in but she has too much attention. I love Yasshi, her dancing is suburb and her personality is really cute. But her voice isn't ready to lead. She has problems with high notes and she can work on a lot of other vocal things. I just found it unfair that Yasshi was pushed to the top while leaving the other kyuukies. I know it isn't her fault, but I believe she shouldn't be a lead singer right now. This is why she is low on my rankings. I really do love Yasshi and I won't lie about her dancing but being pushed to the front so quickly just isn't fair, especially to Fuku-chan who has better vocal ability than RihoRiho.
8. Mitsui Aika
Hard to believe Aika used to be my second favorite. xD I don't know after awhile I just slowly started thinking that she could be a lot better. Her voice is good but it needs work. I admit she gives it her all in dancing but it's hard to pay attention to her when everyone surrounding her is outshining her. I believe she can be really good, but she has to work harder.
9. Takahashi Ai
Now. I might get bashed like crazy, but yes. My least favorite is the current leader Takahashi Ai. FYI this MY rankings and MY opinion. The reason I'm not a big fan of Ai is because after awhile she started trying too hard. Like her dancing is really good, but it looks forced. Her voice is really good but she forces it to be something that isn't natural. People won't agree with my observations, but this is what I have concluded with. I admit she is really good all around but after awhile it got tiring to see her. She doesn't catch my attention, it's more like "Oh again?" type of thing.
THIS IS MY OPINION. If you don't agree with me then okay. But don't go bashing my and flaming me when it's my own opinion. It's pointless trying to convince me that I should change my ranking because these are the people I like and nothing will make me change it.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~ Here we go!!!
1. Niigaki Risa. Hands down.
How can you say no to this girl?! She's hands down the strongest vocals, when not even trying I can tell if it's her voice or not. Her dancing is hands down beautiful and smooth. Personality is too amazing to even say no to, She's going to be the BEST leader Morning Musume ever had. Ever since she joined she hasn't changed. She matured and grew, but she still is the same. Nothing or anyone beats how wonderful Gaki-san is ♥ Not to mention, Her smile is just drool worthy!
2. Suzuki Kanon
Zukki! Yes, I choose the youngest current musume member! Suzuki Kanon! When I first saw Kyuukie auditions I liked her a lot then I started paying more and more attention to her and her character is just so funny there is like no way I can't love her. I'm also breath taken by her smile.
3. Michishige Sayumi
Everyone may dislike her but I actually for one love this girl. She isn't the best singer or dancer, but she always gives 200%. Her love for Morning Musume also wins my heart. Even though she always does the whole "I'm the cutest" on TV I learned from her blog and other stuff that she really is a good girl who lacks confidence. But regardless, I love Sayumin~ I can't wait for GakiShige leadership.
4. Tanaka Reina
Even though she is a line whore I still like Reina. I mean I hate that she's always lead, but I can't help but like her. After watching Bijou Gaku, HelloPro time, DVD magz, Alo halo, and etc. I can't help but like her, y'know? She does all these things that make me go "awwwwW!~"
5. Ikuta Erina
I admit, when she was first added I really didn't like her much. I guess cause I knew she was a AKB fan. During the audition I thought her voice was really bad, but she proved me wrong. After training really hard she climbed up to a high spot in my ranks. She gives her BEST and even more in her dancing and singing. She isn't the best at it but it shows how hard she is willing to work for her fans and that is something I really like. I can't help but also love her KY chara~ I'm going to be cheering on for Eripon ♥
6. Fukumura Mizuki
Fuku-hime! At first I didn't care about her much but then after I started paying attention to her I fell into her trance. It's expected from an egg, her singing is outstanding and her dancing is just smooth and beautiful. She has this shy type character and I find it really adorable. I love the PONPON combi, they're so cute~ and I hope to hear more of Fuku-hime cause out of ALL the 9th gen Fuku-chan has the best vocals. I say the truth, coming from a Zukki fan~ ♥ Fuku-hime has the most potential and deserves to be a lead.
7. Sayashi Riho
Yasshi. She was my most favorite 9th gen during the auditions. I really wanted her in so bad, I'm glad she is in but she has too much attention. I love Yasshi, her dancing is suburb and her personality is really cute. But her voice isn't ready to lead. She has problems with high notes and she can work on a lot of other vocal things. I just found it unfair that Yasshi was pushed to the top while leaving the other kyuukies. I know it isn't her fault, but I believe she shouldn't be a lead singer right now. This is why she is low on my rankings. I really do love Yasshi and I won't lie about her dancing but being pushed to the front so quickly just isn't fair, especially to Fuku-chan who has better vocal ability than RihoRiho.
8. Mitsui Aika
Hard to believe Aika used to be my second favorite. xD I don't know after awhile I just slowly started thinking that she could be a lot better. Her voice is good but it needs work. I admit she gives it her all in dancing but it's hard to pay attention to her when everyone surrounding her is outshining her. I believe she can be really good, but she has to work harder.
9. Takahashi Ai
Now. I might get bashed like crazy, but yes. My least favorite is the current leader Takahashi Ai. FYI this MY rankings and MY opinion. The reason I'm not a big fan of Ai is because after awhile she started trying too hard. Like her dancing is really good, but it looks forced. Her voice is really good but she forces it to be something that isn't natural. People won't agree with my observations, but this is what I have concluded with. I admit she is really good all around but after awhile it got tiring to see her. She doesn't catch my attention, it's more like "Oh again?" type of thing.
THIS IS MY OPINION. If you don't agree with me then okay. But don't go bashing my and flaming me when it's my own opinion. It's pointless trying to convince me that I should change my ranking because these are the people I like and nothing will make me change it.
Friday, June 10, 2011
June 10, 2011
HA - Ha -ha.
I'm posting here just dedicate this day~ You don't need to know why, so don't ask. <3
I'm posting here just dedicate this day~ You don't need to know why, so don't ask. <3
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Dubbing,
I've been a dubber since February 2008. That's a little over 3 years now, wow. It's really been that long? Every thing has changed. To the point where I don't think dubbing is as fun as it used to be.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
4 months
Four months doesn't heal a badly wounded heart.
It's still as painful as the day the announced the graduation. Call me stupid, I don't care.
JunEriLin.
It's still as painful as the day the announced the graduation. Call me stupid, I don't care.
JunEriLin.
Monday, April 11, 2011
I wish it wasn't a dream.
So, I came home from school and took a nap and I don't regret it. I had the best dream in my life. If only.... it was reality. D: Pretty much what happened is that I was hanging out with Eri, Gaki-san, and Linlin. D: It was so cool. Like we just naturally talked even though it was our first meeting. -sigh- I wish I lived that dream...
Friday, March 11, 2011
Recently.
So I haven't blogged here in a LONG time! I've neglected blogging due to, I have nothing much to say. xD Tomorrow I take my first SAT... Ugh. 5 hours of hell. That's ALL I have to say. I'm currently in Spring Break ♥ But I'm stressed over the written test for driving. My mind doesn't stop thinking about it and I get annoyed... So, meh. Whatever. I've bought quite a few stuff since I last blogged here.
Things that have arrive:
My Niigaki Risa Autographed Onna to Otoko no Lullaby Game Amagasaki Promo poster!!
A LOT of JunJun photocards.
Things I bought, but haven't arrived:
PikaPika off shot photo set
PikaPika group bunny set
Eririn [FINALLY♥]
Sakura Gumi and Otome Gumi Alo-hello photobook + poster
Niigaki Risa Photobook + Poster [Very First photobook]
Pepper Keibu LE CD+ Photobook
Sexy Boy LE CD+ Card [I REALLY wanted the GakiKame card hahahaha]
Things TO buy:
Maji desu ka ska! Limited D [ZUKKI♥]
THANKS! [Kamei Eri's last photobook as a morning musume member]
haha~ So, I've been writing my GakiKame fanfic ♥ I like it, I wish it was better but since the graduation... I've had such a BAD writers block :[ Except when I wrote Lover's Game II [GakiKame one shot part 2] Meh. I'm tired. off to write more fics~
Things that have arrive:
My Niigaki Risa Autographed Onna to Otoko no Lullaby Game Amagasaki Promo poster!!
A LOT of JunJun photocards.
Things I bought, but haven't arrived:
PikaPika off shot photo set
PikaPika group bunny set
Eririn [FINALLY♥]
Sakura Gumi and Otome Gumi Alo-hello photobook + poster
Niigaki Risa Photobook + Poster [Very First photobook]
Pepper Keibu LE CD+ Photobook
Sexy Boy LE CD+ Card [I REALLY wanted the GakiKame card hahahaha]
Things TO buy:
Maji desu ka ska! Limited D [ZUKKI♥]
THANKS! [Kamei Eri's last photobook as a morning musume member]
haha~ So, I've been writing my GakiKame fanfic ♥ I like it, I wish it was better but since the graduation... I've had such a BAD writers block :[ Except when I wrote Lover's Game II [GakiKame one shot part 2] Meh. I'm tired. off to write more fics~
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Ahh-- Ahh--- ah---....
It's been a month since the graduation. Why haven't I gotten over the fact they are gone? Why so I still sulk over it? I bet I'm the only one left still extremely sad still. -sigh- Anyways, today is rant day. Actually all I do is rant on my blog. Which isn't such a good thing.
So yeah. I hate school so much, why can't the teachers understand we have more than one class to deal with. Sure we're an exemplary school, but REALLY we are still human, hell. We're still kids who wants to enjoy life. Sometimes I wish school will let us choose classes we need for the future. Cause I'm sure I won't be using Physics and US History while baking pastries. Ugh. Heck, Even English III is useless. I don't need to learn about American literature and how it started!
Yearbook isn't as fun as it used to be. I used to look forward to going to class everyday, then when Junior year started it felt like a real class. I never want to enter that room because I know I won't do anything. I love designing, but the editors won't even give me decent work to brush up my skills. "Do this spread." I do it, then they rearrange it. WTF. If you don't like it, tell me! Teach me! I want to know, How am I supposed to make a good book next year if you won't even teach me slight errors?!
Anyways, away from school. I'm sad my other Rival Survival stuff hasn't arrived yet. Well, moreover it hasn't even shipped yet. Since grad stuff was sold out my stuff was backordered. So I don't know when I'll be getting them. I want my JunJun graduation shirt. :( The most recent thing I got was my Rival Survival Niigaki Risa Key chain! I'm wanting JunJun's and Eri's still D: But the guy who sold me it was only selling Gaki-han's :3 So I hope to be able to buy the other too eventually. I still need to buy Fantasy Juuichi! too D: Actually, right now I'm searching for a few items I want. Here is a list:
- Kamei Eri PikaPika Uchiwa
- Kamei Eri and JunJun graduation Microfiber Towel
- Morning Musume Rival Survival Microfiber towel part 2
- JunJun and Kamei Eri's Rival Survival Key chain
- JunJun and Kamei Eri's 2L 2-shot graduation photosets
- Niigaki Risa Rival Survival Microfiber towel
- Rival Survival B1 Poster
- Fantasy Juuichi! [with photocard]
- Appare Kaiten Zushi! GakiKame 2-shot Photoset
- Morning Musume PikaPika B2 Promo Poster
- Morning Musume Rival Survival Finale Shirt [I just want the Photoset though]
- Morning Musume Rival Survival Pin-ups; Part 2, 3 and 4 [JunJun, Niigaki, Kamei]
- Morning Musume PikaPika Pin-ups [Mostly I want Eri's and Gaki's]
I think that's all, maybe there is more... ^^;; These are just the MAIN things I want/need :x
I'm sleepy.
Ciao.
So yeah. I hate school so much, why can't the teachers understand we have more than one class to deal with. Sure we're an exemplary school, but REALLY we are still human, hell. We're still kids who wants to enjoy life. Sometimes I wish school will let us choose classes we need for the future. Cause I'm sure I won't be using Physics and US History while baking pastries. Ugh. Heck, Even English III is useless. I don't need to learn about American literature and how it started!
Yearbook isn't as fun as it used to be. I used to look forward to going to class everyday, then when Junior year started it felt like a real class. I never want to enter that room because I know I won't do anything. I love designing, but the editors won't even give me decent work to brush up my skills. "Do this spread." I do it, then they rearrange it. WTF. If you don't like it, tell me! Teach me! I want to know, How am I supposed to make a good book next year if you won't even teach me slight errors?!
Anyways, away from school. I'm sad my other Rival Survival stuff hasn't arrived yet. Well, moreover it hasn't even shipped yet. Since grad stuff was sold out my stuff was backordered. So I don't know when I'll be getting them. I want my JunJun graduation shirt. :( The most recent thing I got was my Rival Survival Niigaki Risa Key chain! I'm wanting JunJun's and Eri's still D: But the guy who sold me it was only selling Gaki-han's :3 So I hope to be able to buy the other too eventually. I still need to buy Fantasy Juuichi! too D: Actually, right now I'm searching for a few items I want. Here is a list:
- Kamei Eri PikaPika Uchiwa
- Kamei Eri and JunJun graduation Microfiber Towel
- Morning Musume Rival Survival Microfiber towel part 2
- JunJun and Kamei Eri's Rival Survival Key chain
- JunJun and Kamei Eri's 2L 2-shot graduation photosets
- Niigaki Risa Rival Survival Microfiber towel
- Rival Survival B1 Poster
- Fantasy Juuichi! [with photocard]
- Appare Kaiten Zushi! GakiKame 2-shot Photoset
- Morning Musume PikaPika B2 Promo Poster
- Morning Musume Rival Survival Finale Shirt [I just want the Photoset though]
- Morning Musume Rival Survival Pin-ups; Part 2, 3 and 4 [JunJun, Niigaki, Kamei]
- Morning Musume PikaPika Pin-ups [Mostly I want Eri's and Gaki's]
I think that's all, maybe there is more... ^^;; These are just the MAIN things I want/need :x
I'm sleepy.
Ciao.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Fuu! Fuu! WAO!
Don't mind the title again. Normally if I can't think of a good title I just right whatever is on my mind. So this time it was Appare Kaiten Zushi! Now on to my real post!
So, it's been almost a month since JunEriLin have graduated, it feels like yesterday that I turned 17. I still haven't gotten over the fact that they are now gone and I probably won't ever get over it. Well, maybe one day. I want to be able to look back on my 17th birthday and smile, I'm sure over time I will. I want to remember that day as the day JunEriLin spread their wings into something more beautiful, instead of thinking it as the day JunEriLin breaking my heart by leaving. I'll be fine, I am now actually, but I just can't get over it just yet.
Then the other day guess what was announced... YES, another graduation. To be honest, I saw it coming. I knew it was going to be Ai-chan too. People believed that Ai and Gaki was going to graduate together, but I knew that couldn't happen. I mean, Gaki is Sub-leader so if they both left at the same time then leadership would go straight to Sayu, but Sayu hasn't even experienced being sub-leader yet. I love Sayu, but I think she needs to be sub-leader before becoming the leader of the group. I think Gaki will make a wonderful leader. Even before joining Morning Musume, Gaki loved them. So, I'm sure she will do her best on handling the group.
I'm not sad at all over Ai's graduation. It might be because I'm not over my TWO favorite members leaving. But maybe also because I'm not a big Ai fan. In my opinion, I believe it's about time she graduated, don't get me wrong. But Ai has been in Morning Musume for 10 years, I know Gaki has too but Ai can do so much more with her talent. So, I know she will be fine.
Anyways, I'm tired of ranting :/
So, it's been almost a month since JunEriLin have graduated, it feels like yesterday that I turned 17. I still haven't gotten over the fact that they are now gone and I probably won't ever get over it. Well, maybe one day. I want to be able to look back on my 17th birthday and smile, I'm sure over time I will. I want to remember that day as the day JunEriLin spread their wings into something more beautiful, instead of thinking it as the day JunEriLin breaking my heart by leaving. I'll be fine, I am now actually, but I just can't get over it just yet.
Then the other day guess what was announced... YES, another graduation. To be honest, I saw it coming. I knew it was going to be Ai-chan too. People believed that Ai and Gaki was going to graduate together, but I knew that couldn't happen. I mean, Gaki is Sub-leader so if they both left at the same time then leadership would go straight to Sayu, but Sayu hasn't even experienced being sub-leader yet. I love Sayu, but I think she needs to be sub-leader before becoming the leader of the group. I think Gaki will make a wonderful leader. Even before joining Morning Musume, Gaki loved them. So, I'm sure she will do her best on handling the group.
I'm not sad at all over Ai's graduation. It might be because I'm not over my TWO favorite members leaving. But maybe also because I'm not a big Ai fan. In my opinion, I believe it's about time she graduated, don't get me wrong. But Ai has been in Morning Musume for 10 years, I know Gaki has too but Ai can do so much more with her talent. So, I know she will be fine.
Anyways, I'm tired of ranting :/
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