Collecting

So I have yet another addiction! It's collecting old Morning Musume cards that were made in 2002. Yes I buy them from E-bay. Sad isn't.
Anyways another thing is collecting memories of groupdubing. I remember when I first started my voice was so weak but they still accepted me! After then I joined multiple groups and also made a few of my own. But now it seems no one is accepting me. I audition and I don't get in. Sad isn't it! I been dubbing for 2 years and yet the newer dubbers get more attention. My voice is still weak isn't it. I'll work harder but I don't even know when my next dub will be.
Recently I was addicted on watching old TV shows Morning Musume appeared on and also Hello! Morning again. I also been addicted to cooking. I'm not sure why but it's pretty fun. Today I made me and my mom some Omurice! It was good~ I liked mine better because I put some curry sauce on it. So good!
Anyways I'll leave for now. Until we meet again~ :D

So this is what happened...

I don't get groupdubbing anymore. I love to sing but every time I organize a groupdub it always go downhill! It's kind of getting on my nerves but it's whatever. It's been over a year since I started dubbing most of my older dubbing buddies have already quit. Why haven't I? I love singing and I want to get some advise of how to work on my voice. In the ended no one even comments. (lol) Recently I have been addicted to reading Michishige Sayumi's blog! Also I been addicted to Ebay.... Sadly. I can't help it, but I'm scared to ever buy anything. No matter what I'm addicted it always deals with Morning Musume. Well they are my number one addiction~ I want to hear what songs are in "10 my me"! The newest Morning Musume album. I'm excited but there is still quite a few months left. :[ I don't know why I blog, I used to hate it! I guess it's because I can express myself. I don't have many friends who would listen to my problems so just posting them here can kind of make me relax more. So yeah, I been in more love with Sayumin! So my line up is different.

1. JunJun & Niigaki Risa
2. Kamei Eri & Michishige Sayumi
3. Takahashi Ai & Mitsui Aika
4. LinLin & Tanaka Reina

I feel bad if I ordered them 1-8 so I group them up as equals~
I like Aika-chan a lot but I been raising Sayumin and Ai-chan.
Erinrin has always been up high, but Jun and Risa-chan has been my number ones! :D
So until we meet again :D

Today~

Today was a fairly good day~
First period I had Spanish II (Oh how much I hate it) My teacher wasn't here today so I didn't get much done (not like I always do work) I was helping my friend Fredy with his Geometry PAK.
Second period was pretty fun. Me and my friend Tania worked on our Sentence Diagramming worksheet for English II. We were pretty slow but it looked pretty and organized (I'm not really organized so yeah.) After working on that I started to draw this weird creature. It's my new best friend! I named it Julian.
Third period was Yearbook. It was kind of somewhat boring since I have nothing special to do. I'm going to LIPC (It's a yearbook field trip festival) but I have to pay and pass all my classes by report card time. The only class I'm worried about is actually Spanish.
Fourth period was heck of a fun! My table had to do the Pre-ap lab today. It was making molecules with balls and sticks. Ryan and Chad kept making weird creatures and Lupita was getting a tad scared of them. It was so funny. After the lab Chad started to use a hole puncher and hole punched Ryan's PAK. It was way too fun in fourth period! Tomorrow I have a Chemistry test so I wish myself luck.

Anyways here is my new duet!

Hello!

YAY I'm happy again! Why you ask? Well it's because of singing! I really love to dub! My newest duet will be out today! I was super happy to sing this song! Like seriously! Hello! Project and Singing are the only thing I can go nuts about! I'm not even embarrassed about it~ Nana is HAPPY!~ Oh my gosh! I don't want to watch the Nine Smile concert but it has so many good songs! I'm going to cry when I watch it :( Really I can't believe Koha already graduated. As long as my most favorites don't leave I'm good but still I like Koha!
Nakidasu Kamo Shirenai yo is such a addicting song! I always catch myself listening to it plus Onna ga Medatte Naze Ikenai. I really want the CD but I'm not sure if my mom will buy it for us. I hope she does! I really want to go to that yearbook field trip but I don't want to go alone! I hope Marlene gets to go. I think it will be fun that's why. Then again some people are scary -shiver- Anyways I'll be posting non-sad things from now on. I PROMISE!

Saddness

Suddenly it really does feel like none of my friends, or I thought they were, really cares for me. It hurts so much. I promised to protect them from anything, I promised do help them if needed but now it just all seems like they are using me. Am I not needed when there is someone else around? None of you really understand me, how much pain I am in. It hurts way to much to continue our relationship as friends. I want to forget. Forget everything that I had with you guys because it really is paining me too much! Why do none of you notice the pain I'm going through. You said you were my friend but now I don't think I can believe what you say. I'll look depressed but none of you notice. It hurts more than ever. To the point where I can just run away and no one will notice. Am I that useless? Am I not wanted? What are friends anyways. Seriously no one understands. I cried out of loneliness but no one noticed. I wanted to leave but I had nowhere to go. Once lunch was over I went to class and I felt happy. The people in my class made me smile and forget why I was so sad. Isn't that what friendship is? Or am I wrong? Isn't a friend someone who makes the other party happy? Aren't we friends because we want to protect each other and not make one sad? I don't know anymore.

Lonely

Even though I said I wouldn't post any more sad things I can't help it.
Suddenly I feel as I am really lonely, not only at home but also at school. I only have a handful of friends. It's not because I'm not friendly but because I don't stand out much. Sometimes I feel as if my friends I have are slowly slipping away. In my last sad post I mentioned that I had about three main friends, Julie, Cherry, and Betty. It's with them the most I feel alone. It's not because they are pushing me away, they aren't. I just feel as if they don't even notice me anymore. Julie and Cherry are both in Orchestra and Betty is in Art with another of my almost close friend. I'm left alone. I'm the only one out of my friends that like Jpop, I have no one to talk about my interests. Even if they do like Jpop it isn't the same group that I like. I'm left alone when they all talk about the group they all like. I always want to cry at that moment. It hurts. At home my older brother is always chatting on AIM or texting with his friends, he rarely leaves his room unless he is going somewhere with his friends. At school I usually find myself sitting alone. I may say I'm fine but really I'm in pain. The emptiness in me. I feel extremely lonely. At home I'm usually just online but no one ever talks to me. It's not something new. It's been like this for awhile but now it seems to be more lonely. At school I pretend to be strong and not care for anything but really inside I'm really weak. I can't handle a lot of things. There are times I just want to cry but I hide it from everyone. I won't do anything stupid like suicide, I just don't want to be lonely anymore. The only thing for sure that keeps me sane is Hello! Project and Morning Musume. Without them I wouldn't be able to contain anything. Just watching videos and listening to their songs makes me smile.