Today I was sitting in the living room and I finally felt like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I was thinking that I was finally able to accept the fact my ex doesn't love me and only sees me as a friend and that I could look back to this memory and see it as a happy one. I really wish for it to be a happy memory. But then, my heart just starts feeling heavy whenever she talks to me.
Deep down, I'll never forget. You can never really forget your feelings of someone you loved so much. No matter how long in the future it is, I probably will never forget it either. How does one forget about an old love? You find a new one. I learned that from Bokura ga Ita. I'm afraid to ever love again.
I feel bad, on here I only said the bad things of my ex. I guess it's about time I say all the good things. She's really innocent when it comes to loving. She's a crybaby. She always would cry when we wouldn't talk for a while. Even just a few hours. If I didn't pick up the call she would cry. I thought it was adorable. Every night, even just for 5 minutes, we could call and say good night and the three words I hate hearing, "I love you." She's really nice, even when she can be a real meany sometimes, most of the time she is nice. She gives people too many chances, she forgives people too easily. She's the type of person you have to protect. She's really weak. She weaker than anyone thinks.
Honestly, with how we act with each other now.... You can't really say we're friends. We talk, typing that is, once a week. You know what hurts me the most though? She just naturally calls me the name she gave me when I meant something to her. The name only she was allowed to call me. That name... holds so many memories. I just wonder... What has she down with the promise ring and necklace... haha.. a idiot I am.
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Today's is...
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