I recently been playing Fable The Lost Chapters, I've always been wanting to play Fable. I was going to just play Fable III but they I just decided to play the older one and once I'm done with it I'll get into the next. Though I can't play Fable II since it's not on the computer...
Sooooo, I kind of want to talk about something personal. Though, not like anyone reads my blog so it's fine~!
Past few days I've just been thinking, well more like comparing. The last person I had a crush on and my ex. They were completely different. Oh so very different.... Just cause I don't want to write their real names, we'll use code names. My last crush will be Gaki and my ex will be Kame. Okay, so Gaki is this cute little asian girl, we're actually the same height hahaha but I'm oh so very slightly taller. Honestly, she is very much like Gaki-san, like some of her expressions look similar. Gaki is the only person I spoiled in real life too, like I bought her things she wanted and treated her to drinks or food when we went out to eat. I also protected her a lot. When our friends were teasing her I was the only one comforting her when she started crying. Of course in the end everyone felt terrible. Fyi, Gaki is someone where if you make her cry it pains so much. She's like someone you can't hurt without feeling terrible. xD Anyways, she is smart. Super smart, when I needed help with something she would try and help me understand, which didn't happen often but when I did ask for her she was of great great help. Oh btw, Gaki has always been my type of girl. Honestly speaking she was exactly my type. XD I liked her a lot but our friendship meant the world to me so I didn't even think of making a move. Gaki.... was one of the only ones who tried to relate to me with Morning Musume. She learned their names and who my favorites were. She'd rarely get mad at me, even when I know I did something wrong she would always forgive me. Oh, I have no feelings for her anymore. It's just I wanted to point out how amazing she is and why I came to like her a lot. Every time I think about her now, I get a smile on my face. Just from the happy memories we had together. One memory will be with me forever. Right after graduation. Right after the ceremony all the graduates went outside to find their family. I walk outside and she comes running towards me with her arms wide open. Before I knew it, we were in a tight hug. It lasted for a few minutes but I will never forget the feeling I had. It was at that moment were I could finally say that I have no regrets on liking her for over 3 years. I was happy and I was able to not see her any more than a friend. I was able to move on from my one-sided love for her. Even though I was dating Kame during my senior year, I could honestly say that I still liked Gaki a lot.
Both Gaki and Kame are really innocent. Even though Gaki is my type, I could honestly say I was seriously in love with Kame. All the things I said to her, all the promises I kept with her. None of those were lies. I was really in love with her. Compared to Gaki, Kame was different. Even though we were dating, she would never prioritize me. She dumped me because of distance and because we've become more distant. It was like she was putting the blame on me. I was always here waiting for her to call or talk to me on skype but she would always choose her friends over me. She got mad at me a lot as well. Nothing I ever did was good enough for her. I told her everyday that I loved her. I spent hundreds of dollars on things she wanted, which she eventually sold. I was always thinking of her above anyone. She really was my world, she meant everything to me. No matter what, I was never good enough for her. I'd get jealous because she talked to her role playing lover more than me and she would get mad. She would get mad at me if I was upset of the fact she won't ring with me. To her it felt like I was never her first choice. If someone else asked her to hang out or talk before I asked she would blow me off and not hang out with me. Even though she got mad at me oh so often, there were times where we were happy. I don't hate her., but if you'd ask me if I love her or have feelings for her, I wouldn't know how to answer.. She dumped me 3 times. Now she doesn't even talk to me unless it's about the walking dead or buying goods. I don't need pity,
I'm actually happy now. I lived a life without online friends. Online friends.... never really understand you. When you think they do, they really don't. They don't understand anything. The things you think, the things you like, the things that are good and bad. They only know the things you tell them. It took me awhile to get it, but real life friends, because they are right there by your side physically, they know everything about your mind, heart, and body.
anyways, that's enough for today. Never again will I make a post like this haha~
My lovely stuff of stooof~
Today is....
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