Saddness

Suddenly it really does feel like none of my friends, or I thought they were, really cares for me. It hurts so much. I promised to protect them from anything, I promised do help them if needed but now it just all seems like they are using me. Am I not needed when there is someone else around? None of you really understand me, how much pain I am in. It hurts way to much to continue our relationship as friends. I want to forget. Forget everything that I had with you guys because it really is paining me too much! Why do none of you notice the pain I'm going through. You said you were my friend but now I don't think I can believe what you say. I'll look depressed but none of you notice. It hurts more than ever. To the point where I can just run away and no one will notice. Am I that useless? Am I not wanted? What are friends anyways. Seriously no one understands. I cried out of loneliness but no one noticed. I wanted to leave but I had nowhere to go. Once lunch was over I went to class and I felt happy. The people in my class made me smile and forget why I was so sad. Isn't that what friendship is? Or am I wrong? Isn't a friend someone who makes the other party happy? Aren't we friends because we want to protect each other and not make one sad? I don't know anymore.